Act II Scene 1

[Apron.  Enter Eris]

Eris:       Congratulations!  You found your way back from intermission!  Well, some of you, anyway.

I hope you aren't too worried about what happened in the last Act.  Didn't confuse you, did it?  I mean you all know who George W. Bush is, don't you?

In case you're not sure which George W. Bush we're talking about, maybe some biographical details might help.

George W. Bush was born on July 6, 1946 in New Haven, Connecticut to parents George and Barbara Bush.  He attended public schools in his home town of Carthage, Tennessee and graduated from St. Albans High School in Washington, D.C. in 1965.

[Eris looks puzzled, reaches into her clothing and pulls out a sheet of paper which she scans.]

Eris:       Oh, I'm sorry.  That was Albert Gore who graduated from high school.  Let's see.  (She reads from paper.) George W. Bush grew up in Midland and Houston, Texas and attended the Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts.

[Eris puts the paper away.]

Eris:       George W. Bush attended Yale University where he was a member of the Skull and Bones secret society.  He graduated in 1968 with a bachelor's degree in history.  After his application for a twelve month deferment to study in Paris was denied, he joined the US Navy and served two tours of duty in Vietnam, the first as a Lieutenant Junior Grade on a guided-missile frigate and the second tour as the commander of a Swift Boat. Oh, wait...

[Eris pulls out the sheet of paper again.]

Eris:       Oh, silly me.  That's the "other" other guy.  John Kerry.  I did get the Skull and Bones part right.

[Eris puts paper away.]

Eris:       Whatever, I'm sure you'll figure this out in due course.

[Eris starts to exit but stops just before leaving]

Eris:       Oh, I almost forgot...  The Principia Discordia, the founding document of the Discordian religion, of which I am the central figure (bows or curtseys, as is her wont) contains the Pentabarf, a list of five Discordian commandments.  The fifth reads, "A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What He Reads."  You don't suppose that extends to what he hears, do you?

[Eris exits]